Thoughts at the Kitchen Sink

When Life Hurts

by Jessica Turner

Somewhere today there is a woman who had to let something go that she held close for a long time. Maybe she had to let it go again, for the thousandth time, but she did.

She handled it.

She is my hero.

Standing very still is another woman who feels very alone, but willing to be alone if that is what it takes. She feels frozen, a bit scared, but she’s standing.

She’s handling it.


And she is my hero.

Shifting in her fighting mind is a woman clinging to the truth because she’s been misunderstood. She’s written the truth everywhere you can stick a post-it note and she’s still calling it to mind because she’s lost in battling people’s wrong interpretation.

She’s silently handling it.

I can’t take my eyes off her; she’s beautiful and strong.

She’s my hero.

Sitting on her bedroom floor is a woman taking a big risk right now. She knows it may only get worse before it gets better. She knows even deeper in her spirit she just can’t stay where she’s at or where she’s been. She steadies herself and stands up just to do the next thing.

She’s handling it.

She’s my hero.

Sweeping out every negative comment that comes through her mind is a very uncomfortable woman right now. She maybe be uncomfortable in her skin, her home, her own tired and worn clothes, but she’s choosing to believe that her beauty lies deeper than in those things. She’s embracing herself thought by thought.

She’s handling it.

We all know her.

She’s our hero.

Speaking in what may feel like rambling is a woman who is coming to light right now. She has found the truth. She has had to change her mind; it wasn’t easy. Honestly, it was painful. But the beauty of her new found truth was worth it. She’s finding her language.

She’s handling it.

She’s my hero.

Sleeping not too far from us all is a woman who humility has graciously brought low. She’s beginning again. She thought she knew the way only to find out it was wrong, again. Frustrated and confused she forced herself to sleep. She knows a tired mind is unproductive and joyous clarity comes in the morning.

She’s handling it.

She’s my hero.

Support by the weight of this chair I know each of these scenarios intimately. I am living them.


And I know some of you are too and that is what makes you heroes to me. Not that you have it all figured out, but that you’re looking life in the face and saying,

“I’m going to handle it.”

“I’m going to see this through.”

“I’m going to be ok.”

Stillness and silence are rare in my life, but for a minute I have some. And if you’d allow my brokenness to sit alongside yours for a moment. Here is what I’d say,



A wiser and older woman always used to say to me, “The busier we are, the more we need to be in the Word.”

It’s so true.

Especially when my mind is busy. There is nothing like the weight of my bible on my thighs and the words that run off that page into my spirit.

Isaiah 30:15 sits framed on my kitchen counter.

”…Quietness and Trust are your strength.”

Here is where I have hung my soul lately:

A quiet surrender matched with an uninhibited trust. A belief that is found in how much I can give my life away when no one else is looking or listening even in the midst of handling so much.

I encourage you, open the doors of your home. Let the light in; engage the hurting.


Speak Life.

Give away your food, feed anyone who will come. A simple bowl of soup with love is greater than any four-course meal.

Buy the diapers of the hero behind you in line and throw in a piece of chocolate for good measure.

Smile more often.

Write more notes.

Plan something fun, just for fun!

That creative idea you have, just do it!

Listen to the stories of the elderly, laugh and pray with them, let them know they are not alone.

Give your child a piece of candy they are not usually allowed to have and offer them an extra to give to a friend.

Give the jacket you just bought away. I dare you…

Handle it all with love like this;

That makes us heroes. It helps us continue to feel. And continue to heal. And most importantly, Trust.

Keep going, friend. Keep handling it.xo

Jessica Turner is a writer, wife, mama of four, and not only one of my best friends but my sister-in-love. We keep each other sane as we are married to the Turner brothers. She practices what she preaches.. quietness and trust are truly her strengths. She lives in Birmingham, Al with her husband and four children where they serve at Church of the Highlands.

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