Wisdom I Learned From My 95-Year-Old Grandma

Everything beautiful always begins with a willingness to surrender.

This thought continues to race through my mind as I sit in the hospital room with my 95-year-old grandma.

She lives in Pittsburg. I live in Mississippi. This distance, I’m embarrassed to admit, kept us from seeing each other for eight years. I wish I hadn’t let life get in the way of seeing this woman and gaining wisdom from her years of living.

She was born in 1923, had three children, and from 1944 till now has lived in the same house in the same little town. They say it’s only a mile long. Up until the last thirty years has lived there alone with her daughter living only two doors down. I’m pretty sure her mind is sharper than mine. Just two weeks ago she made a meal for my parents and served it up at her dining room table. There’s something about the simplicity of such a life. No social media. No moving around. No longing for more. Content with the blessings bestowed before her.

She chose a simple life.

They could have had more but raising kids near family was her priority. I believe she wanted her kids to value the simple joys of life.  My dad and his two siblings walked a mile uphill to school in every kind of weather (No joke. It’s the truth). Only having forty-five minutes for lunch, it gave them just enough time to walk home for an already prepared meal by my grandmother. Except she never ate with them because she dined with her mother who lived across the street.

No need to strive, life is fully lived in the small everyday moments.

She didn’t keep the cleanest house or the most organized. She loved well. Working tirelessly for twenty plus years as the church treasurer. The world competes to be known and seen and to get ahead. She didn’t have to because she knew loving others was a beautiful life well lived.

Maybe some would think her life was insignificant because she never stood on stage or drew a big crowd. Never had a big platform or really left her hometown much. And maybe from a distance, you would think she influenced only a few. Except for this weekend, God gave me eyes to see what He sees: A mother’s labor of love never ends, and neither does a life surrendered to Him.

As I sit in the airport ready to board my flight to go home, my eyes fill with tears, and my heart overwhelmed with gratitude that God gave me eyes to see what He sees. It’s amazing what you can learn when you make room for the Holy Spirit to speak.

If we don’t calm the soul, we will miss the wisdom of the Holy Spirit in the rush of life.

And it’s taken me thirty-eight years to appreciate the life she lived. When I’m at the end of my life, it won’t matter if I kept a clean house or if all the socks were put away or how many followers I had on social media. All that will matter is if I loved well. Did I keep time with the One who holds time in His hands? Did I live for an audience of One? Or did I waste time keeping up with the Jones?

You give up your need to compete when you accept being complete in Christ. He gives you all you need.

I can close my eyes and see her cooking. I can smell her baking and practically taste that last bite of her homemade chocolate chip cookies. All the times I visited her I never remember her rushing around. She had this calming spirit about her that drew others in and welcomed them just as they were. I can remember how she laughed as we played cards on Christmas night and she seemed to always be up before the sun bustling around the kitchen. I remember her words just two days ago, “I really missed you.”

Find people you love, and who love you. Relationships are not always leisure, sometimes their work.

 Tears filled my eyes as my 92-year old great aunt kissed my grandma good night. Sisters who have been there for each other through to good and not so good of life. Up until a few years ago they would grocery shop on Tuesday and treat themselves to McDonald’s after. They live only a block from each other. At seven in the morning and seven at night, they call each other. Nothing much is said, just a few words, so they know the other one is ok. A sister bond forged over the years.

So how can I not let these memories shape the very woman I am today? How can I not go home and put down my phone, look into the eyes of the ones I love and live the same simple life? How can I not find people to love and invest in relationships and not forge the same sister bond? I know her life wasn’t perfect, no ones’ is yet her wisdom will continue on, and my prayer is I will continue to pass it on.

I don’t want to imagine what life would be like if she hadn’t chosen to surrender to a simple life. Would I have the faith like I do today? Was it her prayers whispered in the dead of night that shaped my faith? If she hadn’t raised my dad the way she did would I be passing down a legacy of faith to my children? Only heaven knows.

We’ll never know the impact of our willingness to say yes in surrender.

I lean into her and whisper in her ear the night before I leave, “I love you, and Jesus is so excited to see you because you’ve lived a good life.” With tears streaming down my face I thank her for surrendering to such a life because who knows where I’d be. She thanks me for coming and says how much she loves me and she’d be seeing Jesus real soon. She then tells me it’s time for me to go home because my family needs me. And they do.

It’s ironic that we forget so often how wonderful life really is and how a simple trip to see my 95-year-old grandma makes my complicated life suddenly feel very simple.