How to Trust When Your Exhausted From Your Own Efforts

Right before bed several nights ago my youngest says, “Hey mom, look how God fights for us!” He proceeded to do several crazy ninja moves with his hands and feet.

“You’re right, son. He does fight for us like that because He loves us so much.”

Did I even believe what just came out of my mouth?

Here is the trap we fall into…we expect our lives to go a certain way and when life doesn’t go as planned we blame ourselves, or even worse we blame God.

Somewhere along the way, I had begun to believe if I do this, God will do this.

If I pray hard enough and long enough, God will bless me.

If I am good enough He will grant me my request. As if God is a genie in a bottle.

When my prayers are not answered the way that I think they should be, or when sickness or disaster comes I question if I have done something wrong.

Maybe I didn’t pray the right prayer or say the right words.

My faith must not have been enough.

And yet Jesus said if we had faith as small as the smallest seed, a seed that could get lost under our nail, we could move a mountain. Matthew 17:20.

Uttering one single word in faith can move a mountain.

Expectations keep God in a box. Expectations keep us in a box and feed frustration and disappointment. Am I holding on to false expectations? Are my expectations the will of the Father?

Somewhere along the way I picked up this lie…that I needed to become my own savior. I forgot that He paid the ultimate price in order for us to walk in freedom. Instead of trusting and allowing Him be God, I attempted to manipulate situations and lean on my own performance.

Our performance, without faith, does not move the heart of God, a heart full of faith does.

I was exhausted from my own efforts.

I found myself repeatedly reminding God what He called me to do, like he had somehow forgotten. I was frustrated that difficult circumstances continued to arise and my friends were faced with sickness and disaster.

I felt as if this had caught Him off guard somehow.

I was awakened several weeks ago with this phrase…“Trust and obey is the only way.”

Suddenly my heart was at peace with my current situation. If this is what God has for me, in this season of life, then all is well with my soul.

The reality is God is God and He knows best. I can rest knowing He has a perfect plan. All I needed to do was follow His foot steps, His leading. Placing one step of faith in front of the other, trusting that He is right there with me, trail blazing the path ahead.

As I continue to stand in faith for situations to change and healing to manifest, I trust knowing He is fighting on my behalf in the mean time.

Pouting each day because God is not performing the way we think He should will cause us to miss the blessings He has for us today.

Forgive me for complaining, Lord. Forgive me for pouting.

In that moment, when my son was performing crazy ninja moves, I was reminded that God continues to fight on my behalf even when I am too tired to. Even when crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head and uttering the words, “Lord help me,” He fights my every battle.

“But in my distress I cried out to the Lord, yes, I pray to my God for help. he heard me from his sanctuary, my cry reached his ears. Then the earthquake in trembled, the foundations of the mountains shook, they quaked because of his anger. Smoke poured from his nostrils, fears flames of leapt from his mouth, glowing coals flamed forth from him. He opened the heavens and came down, dark storm clouds were beneath his feet. Mounted on a mighty angel, he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind. He shredded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with the dens rain clouds. The brilliance of his presence broke through the clouds, raining down hale and burning coals. The Lord thundered from heaven, the most high gave a mighty show. He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies, his lightning flashed and they were greatly confused.” Psalm 18: 6-14

“Give me success….Help me accomplish the purpose of my journey”Genesis 24:12.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:6