Finding Real Rest After a Tragedy

You know that moment when you meet someone, and you just know? Whether it’s through social media or face-to-face you just know that they are meant for your journey–and you love their story and the way they string words together, and the more you get to know them you know you’ve met an extraordinary soul. That’s Dorina Lazo Gilmore.

When her husband died of cancer in 2014, she found herself a widow at a young age with three girls. She was desperate to find a way forward on the path of grief, and she discovered it’s possible to navigate grief by chasing God’s glory. It’s a blessing to welcome Dorina to the kitchen sink today…

guest post by Dorina Gilmore-Young

The other morning, I went for a trail run at one of my favorite spots in Central California. I was mesmerized anew by the waves of golden grasses undulating over the hills, the cerulean blue of the sky, and the branches of the trees stretching in a dance toward Heaven. Water lapped at the shore below. My trail shoes connected with the earth, tracing the sapphire edges of Millerton Lake.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but trail running has taught me to rest.

You are probably thinking running is not resting. There’s something about running free on a winding trail with God’s glory unfolding all around me. When I’m running, my heart stills and leans in to hear God speak.

I have discovered as a 40-year-old mama of three active kids that rest in my daily life looks a little different than expected. I have shifted my thinking about rest. It’s not always about pedicures and weekends away and sleeping in. I know that by nature I am a highly-motivated, multi-tasking mama. I have to be intentional to carve out time and give myself permission for what I call “soul care” and rest.

A real rest for our souls is about running to God for all our needs.

This kind of rest requires saying no to constant striving, mindless scrolling, friend comparison, unbridled fear and sticky guilt.

God longs to be with us

From the beginning, God expressed a consistent desire to be with His people. Throughout the Old and New Testament, we see examples of God reaching out to humankind in a personal way.

In Genesis 3:8, Adam and Eve hear the sound of God walking in the garden. God calls to them, “Where are you?” Of course, God is all-knowing. He knows exactly where they are geographically, but His question is an invitation for them to draw near. He knows they have just eaten the forbidden fruit, but instead of rejecting them or scolding them, He asks a question.

This is a reminder to me that even in my sin, my imperfections, my insecurities and my doubts God still longs to be with me. His greatest desire is to be in a relationship with me.

I love The Message version of Matthew 11:28-30. Jesus says,

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me, and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me, and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

These verses echo God’s desire for us to “come,” “get away,” “walk with” and “keep company” with Him. He desires “real rest” for us, not the rest that makes you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation when you return home. He provides a more in-depth, restorative rest.

He longs to provide for us

God’s provision for us is always personal and powerful. One of my favorite examples of this is illustrated in 1 Kings 19. Elijah has just gone to the mountaintop and defeated the prophets of Baal. Elijah gets to such a dark place emotionally that he begs God to take his life.

The text says God came and touched Elijah and brought him warm cake and water. God says, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”

Maybe it’s because I’m a foodie, but I am significantly moved by the way God provides good food and water for Elijah in his time of need. In verse 8, we learn this food sustained Elijah 40 days and nights. (That must have been some serious superfood!)

God provides for Elijah’s physical needs and then whispers to him in a quiet way, giving assurance. We can trust in God who knows our deepest needs and longs to provide them.

He longs to redeem us from our brokenness

I have learned that God can take our brokenness and make it beautiful in ways we cannot imagine. After my husband died in 2014, I often felt alone, unsure of myself as a solo parent and overwhelmed by all the tasks each day held.

Isaiah 54:5 took on new meaning for me in this season. It says, “For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.”

This verse was a reminder that I was not alone. God was my husband. He planned to redeem or bring new value to my situation. Sometimes He gave me wisdom in parenting. Other times He provided through people in my community. I often felt His comfort while I was grieving.

I want to challenge you with this question: Where can your heart be still and rest in God?

God is calling each one of us to regular rhythms of rest. This might look different for you than it does for me. You will need to work it out with your attitude, your schedule and your family context.

God wants us to care for our bodies, minds, and souls, which He gifted us to use for His glory.

The world tells us we need and are entitled to self-care. The trouble with this is the methods are often scripted and expensive. Rest and soul care doesn’t need to cost a lot of money, but it does require time. It involves turning down the noise in our worlds and entering into His presence in a personal way.

I encourage you to try a new practice.

Take a walk at a nearby park. Sit down at the table with your kids and paint. Go for a trail run in search of His glory. Drink your coffee slowly and listen to scripture on a Bible app. Press play on some worship music and lay still for two songs. Write in a prayer journal.

The goal is to find out what engages your soul. This is not a prescription; it’s a list of suggestions for ways you might seek the Savior your own style and discover some new rhythms of rest. Rest is a gift from a Good Father who longs to see all of us flourish.

If you’d like to read more about how rest is part of the flourishing process, check out Dorina’s new 6-week Bible study workbook on Amazon. If you would like to discover how to flourish by God’s design after a loss, please check out the study and consider joining the Flourishing Together collective group on Facebook.

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Dorina Lazo Gilmore is an author and speaker. Her first Bible study, Glory Chasers: Discovering God’s Glory in Unexpected Places, was published in August 2017. She has published three multicultural children’s books, including the award-winning Cora Cooks Pancit. Dorina is passionate about helping women from diverse backgrounds fourish in their God-given callings. Dorina is married and a mama of three active girls. When she isn’t taxi driving her girls to school and activities, Dorina loves to run marathons, visit the ocean, and gather people around her table for a delicious meal. Connect with Dorina at dorinaGilmore.com