“Can you conceive of anything that sets forth the beauty of the gospel jewel more brilliantly than the godly behavior of those who have received it?” Feminine Appeal. This is Kristian Caulley. When she plops herself down on the stool in my kitchen and begins to share her thoughts, my heart is instantly drawn to the Father’s love. She embraces all that God has for her and takes the Word for what it is… she’s all in. She has jumped into this gospel of grace with both feet and keeps her eyes fixed on her Savior. You can’t help but fall in love with this woman. She has completed two years of ministry school at the Ramp and now works alongside me serving our women at Ramp Church. She has a heart to see women embark on a journey with their Heavenly Father. A Heart at Rest is humbled and overwhelmed to welcome the words of Kristian Caulley.
guest post by Kristian Caulley
I sat lost at times.
My Heart “sent out the S.O.S. “the damages are great!” but the captain of my Mind never confirmed the order for Mouth to speech. Heart knew the weakness would overtake in time, but Heart got back to work containing the damages: Muting the alert “How do we obtain the dream?” Caulking the leak of “hope deferred”. Daily routines now became too heavy for Heart, and the ship of my Life lost power. And I would float along being carried by the winds of “whatever may come.”
Waiting to be rescued.
This was my way of processing;
I’d felt that I should be able to successfully make it through this life by myself.
Then the Lord spoke to me and said:
“Will you let you heart be mothered?”
Uh, I run alongside incredible women, but the last thing I want is to be seen as weak. I’ve got this! … We’ve got this. (Wanting to take back what I just said.)
“Your idea of independence is really isolation perfumed with personal comforts and unhealthy boundaries.”
I WILL CHANGE.
So here I go…
I didn’t realize how simple The Lord would allow it to be. In one lunch, at one alter call, in one “Holy-Ghost pray meeting”, and in other moments like these. I crossed over my boundaries and decided to expose my heart; disappointments, weaknesses and the fact that “I have no idea how to obtain my dreams”. I was met.
I was met with responses of: “I’ve been thinking about you.”
“I’m so glad we are getting together!”
“The Lord told me to come agree with you about something? “
But the comfort of a mother’s words wasn’t the end. I was encouraged, challenged to change mindsets, and brought before the Lord as a daughter of these women.
These women are my sisters. Sharpening me in times of fellowship, but in a moment of need they can mother my heart. These moments never replace my ever-growing relationship with the Lord but they help me stay a functioning member of the body of Christ. And now I seek to establish these same qualities in my heart, not because I have an established household, or because I’ve had the privilege of the Lord using the darkness of my womb to develop the film of Himself upon the paper of creation: MAN.
I seek to become like the very Jesus who healed my soul. To mirror again the things He used to heal me, and to see another made whole. In those moments, I slip away with tears in my eyes and thank my Father again for the love of a mother.
Catherine Booth (Salvation Army)
said these words at the end of her life:
“Try to raise up mothers. Mothers are the want of the world.”
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