I’m not going to lie, my life seems crazy and out of control most days. Just when I start catching some air, something happens or the children change their routines.
I love the words my sister says, “It’s our beautiful mess.”
I find myself saying “yes” to actives or commitments without thinking it through, or better yet praying through. I want the best for my family and the people I love. Sometimes their security trumps my trust in God.
Events I have created or activities I have attended have all been wonderful for the most part. God has even showed up and showed off in spite of me and my rash decision making. However, have they been the best for me and my family? Have they been truly what He has called me to or have I been seeking out for “more.”
A little over a year ago in the early hours, the Lord woke me with the phrase, “a heart at rest.” For about 8 months I sought out the scriptures and mediated on the simple phrase, pondering what rest really means in a high paced world. It wasn’t long before I was sucked back into believing more is better.
Doing more. Being more. Accomplishing more. Wanting more. All the while I was running farther and farther from what the Lord spoke so clearly. We live in a culture that screams, “more is better.” And I bought into this lie in a real way.
“A heart at rest.”
I recently started following moneysavingmom on Instagram and she is in the mist of a year at rest. I was quickly intrigued to seek after the phrase the Lord downloaded into my spirit over a year ago. I was not moved to action, however until the Lord spoke clearly to me in a dream last week.
As I sit writing I am no where near having a heart at rest. I am on a messy journey attempting to trust and obey in order to find rest at the heart of the Father.
You’d think a life filled with rest would be easy. You’d think writing on how to live a life resting in the heart of God would bring peace to the weary soul. Oh friend, it’s quit the contrary. Our world fights against rest because we are identified by what we do rather then who we are.
Who we are in Christ, who we are at the heart of the Father, is our true identity.
No platform. No man. No friend. No event. No job title can bring you identify. Only Christ himself.
So I have settled in my spirit to sit back and embark on this journey once more the Lord asked me to start over a year a ago. A journey I am not sure where will lead me, or where I may end up, but I trust the One leading. Knowing and believing He has a plan, in which He has written before the foundation of the earth.
I know am about to go against the grain of our culture, even our church culture. I stand on the firm truth that my only role in His grand plan is to trust and obey.
“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” Isaiah 30:15
I think sometimes we need to step back and ask two important questions,
“Why am I doing what I am doing?”
“Does it fit with my God given dreams?”
In the next couple of weeks I will be asking these two important questions with each activity I am involved. Placing them at that feet of Jesus, seeking Him for answers.
I am learning to trust Him. I am learning that my identity is not in what I do, or the title I have, my identity rests in Him alone.
I would love your company, because I need women like you to travel this journey with. Join me in this quest for rest, we will be reading and studying books and scriptures on rest. The first book will be Finding Spiritual White Space. If you want to join me in this quest leave a comment, follow me on Facebook or Instagram, @leajturner or sign up to receive a weekly email.
Wherever you are on your journey!
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